Fireworks for Brains - Analysis of a Firework Freak

This is a snapshot of the inside of a typical firework fanatics head. As you can see from this crude dissection, the central thought processes inside our “pyrofreak”s head do indeed revolve around fireworks, in this case it appears to be some kind of a palm burst with stars, although this can fluctuate greatly throughout the course of a day, indeed during the “crazy season” (Guy Fawkes Night in the UK and 4th of July in the US) this random changing of thoughts becomes more frequent and fireworks of all types, colours and sizes can be imagined.

Of course it is impossible to know exactly what these strange creatures are thinking all the time, but it has been observed that there is often a strange or “explosive” light in the eyes of these firework nutters while the fireworks go off inside their brain. This has been commented on by many leading pyrotechnist analysts of recent years and the general conclusion has always been, to quote Prof Pyro, “this lot are nutters!”

Whatever the cause, be it a natural reaction to movement, lights and sounds, or a learned – even encouraged – response, thinking about fireworks all the time has not been proven to be harmful to the environment or bad for your cholesterol. So, think on you pyro-addicts and imagine whatever you like, we salute you for your devotion to the cause, and we give you a slightly wider berth than most – due to that gleam in the eye.