"Roar on the Shore" becomes a damp squeak

Major disappointment for a hundred thousand spectators in Bournemouth last night as the "roar on the shore" became a "wimp in the wind".

The event, which had been hyped and billed as the most exciting and spectacular world record-breaking attempt ever with over 110, 000 rockets being set off simultaneously.

Unfortunately for the crowd who were expecting a feast for the eyes, the rockets looked more like a pile of sparklers having a minor argument.

In an attempt to beat the record the team set the rockets in such a way that they would go off almost simultaneously... good plan, but this meant if a member of the crowd was... oh, let us say, blinking. Then he would have missed the small and "fart-like" eruption that stood in for the "rocket display that could be seen from space".

Seen from space?? it could barely be seen by the hundreds of people who had spent hours scrambling for a good viewing spot on top of the nearby cliffs.

A 30-second warning was broadcast to the crowd alerting them that the rocket launch was imminent. This led to conversation and murmuring among the spectators that went on throughout the record attempt that started seconds later. The expected ten-second countdown was non-existent and the majority of the audience was not aware that any display had happened at all.

To describe the whole event as a huge disappointment would be a bit of an understatement and planning officials are now deciding whether or not to proceed with the "50 party poppers" extravaganza that was planned for later in the year, an official was heard to say "We are reluctant to now set off the 50 party poppers as we feel it may outshine the 'roar on the shore' event" - (citation needed)

Quotes from the crowd:

"They should win the world record for worst firework display ever!"

"Worst. Firework display. Ever."

"Absolutely pathetic.... the Boos were louder than the fireworks..."

"Everyone thought it had gone wrong!"

"It was more of a "small fizz" than a "roar" on the shore, even the firework display beforehand was very low-key and not worth getting stuck in traffic for."

"it was a load of rubbish, a fire on a raft at sea, and a big cloud after a blast of sparklers"

Well, you get the idea. Not a staggering success, and here are some suggestions for a new name for the event.

"sizzle on the seaside"

"yawn on the shore"

"wimp in the wind"

"Whimper-on-the-waves"

"Uproar on the shore"

"ROAR = Rip Off Absolute Rubbish"

The list goes on... if you have any suggestions for a new name for the display please let us know, the best ones will not win a prize but we will certainly feature them on the blog.

To end on a positive note, the event was held in order to raise money for the Help for Heroes charity which looks after wounded service men and women, certainly a good cause. Shame that a Christmas cracker is more likely to induce a flashback than the record attempt at Bournemouth.