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FIREWORKS - THEY'RE LIT (15 JOKES)

FIREWORKS - THEY'RE LIT (15 JOKES)

We all know that fireworks are an absolute blast, after all they are often brightening up our nights! Here we have compiled 15 of our favourite firework related jokes, but don't expect originality, some of these are probably older than the Gunpowder Plot!

A police officer caught two kids playing with a car battery and a large firework. He charged one and let the other one off.

Jimmy’s firework display was a complete disaster. “I don’t understand it!” he said. "They all worked fine when I tested them yesterday."

My wife asked me if I knew why our neighbour’s house had burned down. Unsure, I replied, "Fireworks?" She then replied with, "Yes, sadly it does."

We were driving past Epic Fireworks when my wife exclaimed, “Wow, that showroom is huge.” I replied, "Yeah, you just can’t hold a candle to that place."

What do you call a duck that loves fireworks? A firequacker.

I accidentally left our pet tortoise outside on Bonfire Night. Thankfully, it was just a little shell-shocked.

I bought my friend an unnecessarily large Sky Thriller rocket this year. He's over the moon.

I launched my own clothes line this week. I knew I shouldn’t have lit the fireworks near the washing.

A pyrotechnic friend of mine lost his job after some fireworks didn’t go off in the correct sequence. It's bang out of order.

Fireworks have been really popular this year. Sales have skyrocketed.

For New Year's I watched the fireworks on the TV. In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best place to light them.

My wife told me that fireworks were a waste of money when there are people in this World starving. I replied, "Yes, but blowing them up would be wrong."

How are women similar to fireworks? They both look great from a distance, dangerous up close, and can be ignited by the smallest spark.

Firework jokes are awful. Almost all of them go over my head.

A good firework reminds me of sex. I'm always surprised at how long it can last; they often make great sounds and I always look forward to the climax.

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